


And there's a hand, my trusty fiere!

by divinity



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Adopted Children, Adoption, Angst, Bisexual Character, Bisexual Eddie Diaz, Bisexual Evan "Buck" Buckley, Bisexual Male Character, Coming Out, Developing Relationship, Emotional, Emotional Baggage, Extended Families, Family, Father-Son Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Parent-Child Relationship, Parents, Pre-Relationship, Sexuality, Sexuality Crisis, Slow Burn, Slow Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-26
Updated: 2020-06-04
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:55:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24277723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/divinity/pseuds/divinity
Summary: «“I knew it!” Chris murmurs, putting his fork down and getting up»What do you do when a 9-year-old manages to see what you couldn't see for the longest time? Where do you go from there and how will you react to it?Chris sets in motion a series of events where Buck and Eddie get closer and navigate their feelings for each other together. OR I have no idea where this is going and just need to write down weird and fluffy ideas that come to my mind. There might be some angst here and there but will try to keep this as fluffy as possible.
Relationships: Christopher Diaz & Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Evan "Buck" Buckley & Christopher Diaz & Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Evan "Buck" Buckley & Christopher Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Evan "Buck" Buckley & Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Evan “Buck” Buckley & Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Comments: 10
Kudos: 80





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I love these two dorks so much that I keep making scenarios in my head on how they would finally tell each other that they are more than friends. I don't have a specific plot, so any suggestions or requests are more than welcome. As a disclaimer, I have not written fanfictions in years so I am bound to be rusty and to make mistakes please be kind to me hahahah. The title is from Auld Lang Syne, as a good Scots I love that song.

“Why are we getting these magazines?” 

Buck closes the door of his locker and Eddie appears out of what seemed like thin air. He is holding up what looks like four UNICEF subscription magazines. He notices Buck struggling to read the titles at first so he pushes them closer to his face. He had a faint idea of why they were receiving those magazines.

“You know those people in the street that raise money for kids?” Buck is fully dressed in his civilian clothes and his hair is still a little bit damp from the shower he had just taken a few minutes before. “Well I felt so bad and it sounded like a totally good cause so I set up a direct debit and I guess that’s one of the perks?” His eyes are glimmering and a soft smile is formed on his face, _stupidly handsome face_ , Eddie thinks. He curls his bottom lip inwards trying to kill a smile from bursting out and puts the magazines down on one of the wooden benches in the middle of the room.

“You know what I mean? They were saying all these things about child poverty and I got...” 

“Honestly, I’d say I was surprised but 300 scenarios ran through my mind of why we were getting those magazines and they all included you and some sort of wholesome gesture” Eddie interrupts him, trying to spare Buck to think back about child poverty and other topics he is sure are not necessarily happy.

It is widely known that Buck is cute, handsome, physically attractive, intelligent, passionate, empathetic, tall, broad-shouldered, blue-eyed, but most importantly, part Labrador! Labrador because he is almost too pure and wholesome to be a fully-fledged human. He craves human contact and reacts to disappointment and negative emotions the same way a puppy would do. Eddie has witnessed this first hand when the two had an altercation in the supermarket 6 months ago. They both had a lot to say to each other regarding the lawsuit and Eddie turned their conversation into a bashing fest for Buck. It was then that Eddie saw Buck’s eyebrows drop and his eyes losing focus and glaring over. He swore he saw Buck’s soul leaving his body like he had no more use for it and was done with the earthly dimension. From that moment on he knew that Buck was one of that 1-in-a-million person who was too pure and wholesome for this world. He also promised himself to make sure that no one would ever hurt him like that ever again, himself included.

Eddie doesn’t ask why those magazines are being sent to the firehouse, he has a hint that Buck uses that address for anything as he probably spends more time at the station than in his own flat. 

Eddie sits down on the wooden bench next to the magazines “I wanted to ask you something, but please feel free to say no” he continues while playing with his feet. They both are wearing their civilian clothes now, they have just finished their last shift of the week.

“Shoot!” exclaimed Buck, laying his back on the locker and crossing his legs.

“I have a date tonight and I totally forgot to ask Abuela if she can look after Chris and now I’m scared if I ask her she’ll give me a 10 minutes spiel about how I should plan more carefully and prioritise him and then she’ll ask who I am seeing etc.” Eddie doesn’t feel weird asking Buck to watch Christopher. He has done it before and he considered Buck his best friend. They never said those words to each other but it is implied. _Right?!_ Sometimes Eddie wishes he was more in tune with his emotions and just said to Buck that he is his best friend instead of just assuming it or taking it for granted.

“Man, absolutely! I was actually stalling getting out of here to see if I could find something to do” just then Eddie realises that he was ready and clothed way before Buck was. 

“So, give me the load down, who is she? Where are you going? Should I put Chris to bed?” At the last sentence, Buck raises his eyebrows alluding to Eddie spending the night out with this potential new date. It isn’t weird anymore. Talking to Eddie about his romantic life, that is.

Buck probably did have feelings for Eddie at some point, but they are long gone. He never analysed or interrogated those feelings long enough because he realised the situation was way too complicated. Eddie is straight first and foremost. Buck too. They work together and all of their friendships are linked to both of them. _See? Way too complicated_. Buck had realised it was easier for everyone involved if he just pushed those weird feelings away. Before he would try not to speak about dates, girlfriends or sex with Eddie and when that happened he felt a shell of a human riddled with jealousy and anger. Now he is actively trying to get information out of Eddie, he trained himself not to be set off when Eddie speaks about his romantic life. It is a fucked up reverse Pavlovian experiment.

“Nah, no need for staying that long. It will be just a civilised dinner and then I’ll come home to set you free. Thanks, Buck!” he says, raising his hand into a fist and hitting him gently on his extended crossed legs. They both laugh and Eddie stands up making his way outside of the room.

  
  
***

“Just for tonight Mr Diaz, I won’t force you to eat this awful spinach. Then I guess you’ll never get as big as me if you don’t eat them...” Buck is staring at two plates in front of him in the kitchen filled with spinach, some toasted bread and plenty of other well-seasoned vegetables.

“Okaaaay, Bucky. I’ll eat them” Chris is sitting on the sofa in the living room smirking at Buck through the open kitchen, his legs are hanging excitedly from the sofa.

Eddie gave him a very quick rundown of anything he needed to know, these handovers were getting shorter and shorter every time Buck was minding Chris. He knew everything that needed to be known by now. Buck gets out of the kitchen while holding a plate in each hand. The table in the living room in front of the tv is set up with coasters, napkins and cutlery.

“And just for tonight as well, Mr Diaz, you can eat in front of the tv” Buck had never understood the crusade against people eating in front of the tv, but nonetheless he knows how Eddie pushes them to always have food on the dining table like normal people. This was going to be Buck and Chris’ little secret.

“I wish daddy would go out on dates more,” Chris says holding his gaze on his plate. His voice has a hint of an interrogative tone. Buck, who has been carefully watching Chris eating his food, narrows his eyes and thinks it is strange that Eddie has told his son that he has gone out on a date. He remembers how discreet he is around Chris - he guesses he must have changed his mind and started telling his son the truth.

“Yeah? Well if this one goes well you could expect him to go out on loads more dates” Buck says keeping his emotions at bay, sounding enthusiastic. Chris looks like he has just discovered a secret he had been trying to discover all night long.

“I knew it!” Chris murmurs, putting his fork down and getting up. He starts walking towards the bathroom.

“Where are you going champ?” Buck observes the whole thing happening and is just clueless. He knows Chris is a strong independent kid and doesn’t want to control every action he tried to do. “I’ll be right back Bucky, just need to use the toilet”

***

The clinking sound of keys interrupts Buck’s concentration. They are watching a documentary about the most extreme places on earth. He glances at this phone - he had been in Eddie’s apartment for less than an hour, this meant that either Eddie had an awful date or… someone was trying to break in? He almost gets up when the door swings open and Eddie is standing there wide-eyed and looking frantic. He steps in quickly and stares at Chris and then Buck and then the door he has left open behind. He closes the door and stands in front of the two looking confused and perhaps mad.

“What the hell happened?” He asks, first staring at Buck and then Chris.

“I’m sorry if it’s messy I’ll clean it up before I leave...” Buck says looking up, he looks a bit sad to which Eddie shakes his head immediately to let him know that it isn’t messy or at least that’s not what he is worried about.

“What is this?” Eddie askes again, staring at Chris this time. He pulls his phone out of his left pocket and hands it out to Buck.

“Daddy come back home now it’s an emergency” Buck reads the message aloud and sees that Chris was the one who sent it. “Chris are you okay? Did I do something wrong? Did I hurt you?” Buck turns immediately to Chris who looks like he is in way over his head. Chris launches into Buck’s arm and starts to cry.

“I’m sorry Bucky” he says, his voice muffled by Buck’s chest. Eddie is staring at this thing unfold, still extremely confused.

“It’s okay bud! Do you wanna tell your dad what’s the emergency then?” Buck hugs him closer and starts brushing his hand on Chris’ back to comfort him. 

“No, he’ll be mad” his voice is so soft and dim that it is barely audible. Eddie scrunches his face and opens his mouth but fails to say anything.

“Do you wanna tell me?” Buck is looking down at the back of Chris’s head and then back up at the confused Eddie “but then I guess you would have told me before if there was a problem” Chris lifts his face from Buck’s chest and looks at him with red eyes and tears all over his face. 

“It’s fine I can tell you now” he gives his dad a clandestine look “alone though”.

***

Buck walks in the kitchen staring at the floor, his expression empty and confused at the same time. Eddie is walking back and forth behind the counter and is nervously playing with his chin and then his legs.

“So? What did he say?” Eddie stops right at the edge of the door frame unintentionally, preventing Buck from entering the kitchen. Buck squeezes past his side and opens the fridge, he takes two beers and opens them both handing one out to Eddie. 

“You’re freaking me out Buck” Eddie says lifting his hand, refusing the beer.

“Just promise me that you won’t punish him or ground him or anything like that”. Buck eyes at the beer that Eddie has refused and then looks at him, raising an eyebrow pressuring him to take the bottle.

“Last time I checked I was the one making the rules in here” he says smiling faintly. 

“Just promise” he implores, taking a sip.

“Okay I promise, will you just spill it out now?”

“So I made a mistake and told him that you were out on a date. I mean I didn’t actually tell him, that son of yours is a genius...” Buck is trying to finish but gets interrupted by Eddie.

“Is that why he was upset? But why the emergency text?” Eddie looks confused, once again.

Buck pops his bottle down and takes a step closer to Eddie, they are both facing each other, both having their shoulders prompted against cupboard doors. He has promised Chris he is going to keep this to himself but he can’t lie to Eddie, not now.

“The emergency text was a way for him to get you out of the date as fast as possible and back at the apartment with us” Buck throws all those words out as fast as he can.

“But he knew I would come back home and put him in bed and spend some time with him” Eddie is struggling to understand given that Buck isn’t being as clear and honest with him as he could.

“He wanted you to come back to us.” This time Buck decides not to say a lot, he emphasises the word us.

“But he knew I would”, Eddie says again.

“He doesn’t want you to date anyone” Buck adds trying to hide a little smirk.

“That’s a bit excessive… why?” His face scrunches into a tight expression. He shakes the beer bottle he’s holding and confirms that it’s empty.

“He thinks you’ll like someone else and he likes this person better” Buck says letting a small giggle out. He looks up and sees Eddie staring at the floor.

“He thinks you like me and he doesn’t want you to date anyone else” Buck clarifies looking at Eddie curious to see his reaction.

“Is that what he said?” He asks, staring at his feet, his voice seems defeated.

“Well, I summarised. He said that he doesn’t want another mum because he already has me and that his Bucky is way better than any other date you will ever have” Buck moves next to him, both of them resting on the same cupboard doors. He has to admit he is enjoying this.

“Promise you won’t punish him” Buck pleads.

Eddie puts his empty bottle of beer on the table in front of him. 

“Why would I punish my son for telling the truth?” Eddie lifts his gaze just enough to witness how Buck’s face looks when he’s deeply confused.

“I mean you’ve cared for him more than anyone thought possible” Buck is adamant not to interrupt Eddie. “And I guess I’ve thought about you lately more than I care to admit but I would have never imagined my son to pick up on it”.

Buck wants to talk, he really does, he wants to tell him that he has been thinking about him too but he feels like that is the moment for Eddie to talk. It’s Eddie’s time to talk about his feelings and be emotional.

Eddie looks him straight in the eyes before tentatively and slowly moving his hand towards Buck’s. He is extremely confused, it is true he has been thinking about Buck a lot but he has never managed to give a name to these feelings. He is very confused, but at this moment he feels like Buck needs to know that he cares about him very much. He doesn’t want to spoil things further with any hasty gesture that isn’t well thought out. His right hand wraps around Buck’s index and middle finger awkwardly. They both look up at each other and say nothing. Buck smiles, his eyes gleaming and Eddie snorts lightly.


	2. Chapter 2

Eddie was very confused. He had been for a long while, but now that his own son had forced him to deal with his emotions, he was even more confused. That was exactly why he didn’t want to rush or do anything stupid with Buck. He cared far too much to use him as an experimental date. This mess in his head was his and he didn’t want to bring Buck into it.

He only allowed himself to gently hold Buck’s hands the other night, it might have seemed like nothing but to him, it was a big deal. That was the first time he initiated any sort of romantic contact with another man and it was strange. They both left it at that and Eddie was grateful because he probably would not have had the guts to do anything else. Neither of them spoke about what happened afterwards and tried to get along with their shift the following morning.

“Someone’s gotta be on shopping duty today, the fridge is nearly empty” Bobby’s head emerged from the fridge looking at everyone present.

“Chim can do it, last time he managed to get us free oat milk by sweet-talking that old lady” Buck had his arms crossed and a mischievous smile on his face.

Chim smiled and nodded leaving the room presumably to hit the grocery store. Eddie was occupied by boiling water, his head firmly down on what he was doing. “You know there’s no milk?” Hen was observing him from far away while she cleaned her glasses. Eddie continued what he was doing, probably not hearing what Hen had just said.

“Fuck there’s no milk!” Eddie lifted his head up and looked at his cup of tea sitting on the kitchen table. “Something’s wrong with him” Hen snorted before leaving the kitchen and looking at Buck as to leave him to deal with Eddie.

Buck got closer to him and followed Eddie’s movements with his eye before demanding his attention with his eyes. “Chim is going out to get some, he’ll be back soon” Buck continued staring at him to understand what was happening.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah… yeah, I am” Eddie tried hard not to panic and not to make things weird but he was doing a lousy job.

Buck didn’t want to make him uncomfortable so he decided to back off. He wasn’t going to start touching Eddie at work, he knew better than that.

“I’m sure he won’t be long” Buck lowered and tilted his head, trying to meet Eddie’s gaze, when he succeeded they both held eye contact. Neither of them said a word then Eddie turned abruptly towards the fridge letting Buck only see is back.

Eddie was still trying to process all of those feelings that came out the previous night and didn’t know what was the best way to do that. He thought to work closely with Buck wasn’t going to make his life easier but at the same time, he wanted Buck to know that he cared about him and didn’t want to withdraw completely from him.

“I think I made a mistake last night” Eddie wanted to punch himself the second those words came out of his mouth. He was still turned around facing the fridge, while Buck was standing behind him.

Buck’s upper body slouched a little and his stomach clenched as if he just got punched. He didn’t move, he didn’t speak. He wanted Eddie to explain himself.

“I’m not saying I didn’t mean it” he continued turning around this time. He hated himself for doing that but he felt like he needed to do this for both Buck and him. He was holding the slab of marble of the counter with both of his hand and was looking at Buck’s annoyed expression.

“I just have to figure things out and I think it’s fairer for both of us if I do this alone” he finished not having the guts to look at Buck by the end of his sentence.

Buck had been listening to this motionless, his expression neutral perhaps a bit annoyed. There was something in his head that told him this was coming and that everything they had talked about the previous night was just a tipsy conversation. For crying out aloud, Eddie just held his hand, that meant practically nothing. Right?

“Please say something” Eddie begged, yanking Buck out of his own head. “Have I ruined what we had before?” He then asked candidly, his eyes glaring.

Buck smiled faintly while moving for the first time towards the counter that was diving the two of them.

“Don’t be silly Eddie, I understand. Let’s pretend it never happened.” Buck faked a strong yet friendly tone. He didn’t want to do that. He didn’t want to pretend that Eddie had never told him that he felt the same way Buck had been feeling about him.

Eddie dropped his eyes to Buck’s hand and then back to his face.

“Don’t do that” Eddie stared deeply into his eyes

“Don’t lie to make me happy or to make me feel good. I’m doing an awful thing and this is bound to be uncomfortable and I don’t want you to do what you always do and resolve other people’s problems. I don’t want you to suppress your emotion in order to make me feel good about myself, I don’t want you to think that your emotions need to come second to mine. I don’t want you to think that your needs should come after the needs of other people. Tell me how you really feel”

Buck previous weak smile had faded making way for an angry smirk which Buck was trying to hide unsuccessfully.

“Just leave it man” Buck lifted his hands to his waist and started to rub his thumb in the palm of his other hand.

“Buck...” Eddie had walked around the counter and was now facing Buck closer observing him playing with his hands. When he didn’t get any response from him, he went in for Buck’s hands before getting thrown backwards abruptly.

“I SAID LEAVE IT!” Eddie was staring at him confused and perhaps a little bit frightened.

“What the hell is happening here?” The shouting had attracted Bobby in followed by Hen, both of whom were looking around the room wide-eyed to try to gain some insight on what was going on.

“Nothing cap I-I just” before Eddie could come up with a plausible excuse, Buck started walking out of the room.

***

“I hate you and how you made me feel yesterday at work” Buck was standing outside of Eddie’s apartment, his eyes evidently red from crying.

Eddie looked at him confused while opening the door wide. Buck took that as an invitation to come in and stormed in the apartment.

“You said you wanted to know how I felt and here it is” Buck had sneaked a look at Eddie’s puzzled expression and provided him with an explanation.  
“You really did an awful thing yesterday. I understand you don’t want to hurt me and all, but have you for a minute consulted me in all of this?” Buck asked rhetorically.

“Buck...” Eddie breathed out before getting a stern look from him.

“I’m not done.” He swore he had seen Eddie take a step back - clearly, he was not holding back his rage.

“You made a move on me and now when things turned out to be too real for you, you decide to call it quits and use my feelings as an excuse. Well, that’s not going to work because I am telling you right now that you won’t hurt me. I want this, I want to try this even if there is a possibility in this ending in disaster.” Buck got closer to Eddie, his face softer which only accentuated his red eyes.

“Now, I’ll stand here until you take responsibility and confess that you don’t want to do this because YOU, and only you, are scared.” Buck crossed his arms to his chest and looked insolently at Eddie.

Eddie grabbed Buck’s crossed arms and pulled him closer to his face, leaping forward to his mouth where he laid his lips softly. Buck closed his eyes instinctively, started to taste Eddie’s lips on his own and relaxed his body.

“I am scared” he whispered once they had taken a step back to breathe. “I’ve got so much to lose, you’re my best friend and God only knows what would Chris do to me if we mess this up” Eddie was playing nervously with his hands.

“Finally! Can you stop screaming now? I’m trying to do my homework” Chris was standing just outside his room, holding a pen in his hand to show that he had indeed been disturbed. Both Eddie and Buck turned their heads sharply towards the hall where Christopher was standing.

“Okay buddy, chop-chop back to your room now” Eddie clapped his hand embarrassingly and walked towards his son to help him back to his room while glancing back at Buck.

“I should probably go” Buck didn’t know if he should have been laughing or dying of embarrassment.

“No Buck! You haven’t kissed dad back. He kissed you and now you have to kiss him back, that’s how it works!” Christopher protested trying to escape Eddie’s grip.

They all stood silently until Buck looked at Eddie and gave him a panicked look.

“Okay, in your room now and then we’re going to talk about you knowing how kissing works” Eddie shut down all the protest his kid was putting up and managed to settle him back in his room.

“He’s right you know?” Eddie had just closed Chris’ door and walked back in the living room where Buck was still standing looking confused.

“I kissed you and then now you have to kiss me back unless you don’t want to in that case y-” Buck rushed to him and stopped his words by kissing him, took his hands and squeezed them gently.

“You’re still not forgiven about what you did yesterday” Buck’s eyes were glimmering and a little watery, from happiness Eddie assumed.

“I don’t think there’s anything I can ever do or say to change that” Buck’s eyebrows shot up showing how surprised he was by that confection.

“Well you can try” teased Buck looking around the room

“I am sorry?” Eddie asked, which was cleary what Buck didn’t want to hear as he frowned amused.

“So you’re apologising but asking a question at the same time… Uhm interesting” Buck was not going to let his go, he was set on making Eddie work hard for it.

“You’re honestly as much as hard work as every woman I’ve dated” Eddie was catching up on his game.

“Wow. Ehm, that’s sexist on so many levels” Eddie started walking towards Buck, who was drawing back amused by the situation.

“Oh yeah? How come?” Eddie was now pushing Buck backwards with his own body.

“Well, for once you assumed women are hard work and that men aren’t” Buck felt the sofa with the back of his calves and turned his head to see what was stopping his retreat, he rolled his eyes and smiled patiently at Eddie.

“I’ve only got you to compare for the male population, and this is turning out to be super easy in my defence.” Eddie pushed him on the sofa with an evil smirk, clearly enjoying this little act they had both been putting on.

“You know that if you get on this sofa we’ll get carried away and Chris is in the other room and...”

“You got no self-control when it comes to me, do you?” Eddie whispered, in a tone that was both an actual question and pretend.

“It’s just not what I had imagined”

“You’ve thought about _this_?”

Buck’s eyes shot wide open. “There is not _this_! _This_ is not happening”

“That was not what I asked. You really did think about that”

Buck looked like he had been caught stealing candies from the supermarket and everyone was upset at him.

“I’m not freaked out” Eddie added promptly, not wanting Buck to feel bad. “I’m intrigued, I mean I have questions but I’m scared if you answer them they will all just lead to… that”

Buck chuckled and relaxed his back on the sofa. “It’s just that I find you attractive” Buck confessed looking at Eddie sitting down next to him.

“Don’t you think I find you attractive too?”

“It’s just that you were freaked out by simple hand-touching so I assumed...”

“Hey! That was my stupid head playing tricks on me. Let’s start this all over”.

Buck looked confused and observed Eddie shuffling his body on the sofa comfortably.

“Hey! I’m Eddie Diaz and I find you tremendously attractive to the point that if I didn’t have a 9-year-old in the other room I would have ripped that t-shirt with my own teeth.” He held out his hand for Buck to shake, which he did, trying to hold in a laugh.

“Hey, Eddie Diaz. I am Evan Buckley and I find you extremely sexy and I would definitely let you tear my t-shirt apart if that was an option right now”.

They both laughed, Buck pulled him closer and kissed him gently.


End file.
